Posts Tagged ‘Child’

With several years experience in education, I get asked quite often,”How do I choose a school for my child?” There are several factors involved, but I will go through a few things to be aware of and look out for.

The number one thing a parent should look out for is the willingness of a principal or tour guide to answer their questions, and allow them access to all parts of a school. There are times when tours are allowed, that principals advise their staff to keep certain areas of campus off-limits to visitors, even though it is public and you have every right as a parent to see every part of the campus. The reason for this is the school could have 25% high achievers, and 75% low achievers. What the tour guides want parents to see are the 25% high achievers, even though they may know it could affect your child in a negative way if they are mixed with low achievers. You might ask,”Why would they do such a thing?” The answer lies in Federal dollars. The more students in a school, the more money a school receives.  When principals think about keeping doors open ethics are often compromised, because in reality they know with a huge population of low performing students, the high performing students will avoid the campus. Principals will even keep their worst performing teachers, and fire their better teachers, because often, the better teachers complain about these types of administrators. Things get really hairy on mismanaged school campuses.

The number two thing a parent should look for is the school profile sheet. This information is public record. A parent should look it over carefully. Three things that often affect academics in a school are constant discipline problems, poor attendance, and poverty.  You can look at expulsions, in-school suspensions, and attendance information online. If you want your child to succeed, it is advised that you look for the schools with high attendance, low-free and reduced lunch, and little to no expulsions or suspensions, unless of course the school completely isolates it’s high achieving population. This is like a school within a school and the campuses are divided basically between achievers and non-achievers.

The number three thing a parent should do is online research. There are plenty of sites that give school ratings and reviews. They are often very truthful ratings no matter what a principal may say about them.

The number four thing a parent should do is talk to students and parents. If a parent talks about how good a school is please find out how often they go on campus or are actually involved.  A lot of times, you could get bad advice, if they are just throwing an opinion out there with no hands on experience at the campus. Ask the students,”Do you feel your principal and teacher care about you?” The kids will often tell the truth, especially the high-achievers.

In review, if the campus is totally open, the attendance is high, discipline problems low, most students are paying for lunch, online reviews are great, and you hear great word on the streets, you are more than likely picking a fantastic school for your child. Keep in mind that fantastic schools are fantastic because of parental involvement. So be ready to work as hard as your child.

 

So what does it take to be a great dad? It takes heart. Everything we do comes from our heart. You either want to do it, or you do not. It’s as simple as that.

Dad’s are more important in the direction their children will take than media, society, or they themselves realize. Having talked with several kids over the years the number one thing I hear is,”I wish my dad were around.” There are literally thousands of adults walking around on any given day wondering,”Why did my dad leave?” There are thousands of children following negative paths because dad left. To be a great dad you must be in the game.

To be a great dad you must lead by example. Your kids are watching and so are their friends. If you are married or single, take time to cook meals, sit down and talk with your children at dinner, spend time with them doing an activity that they love, if you dislike something, do it anyways. Be open and talk them about the hot taboo topics. If you do not, their friends will. These things teach your child or children that you are interested in them, and that sometimes you have to do things that you dislike. To be a great dad you must show interest and lead by example.

Children will often test the waters and see how far they can swim. We know that our abilities only allow us to swim so far. To be a great dad you must discipline. Discipline can be accomplished a variety of ways and there are several books that discuss this. The key is that you let your child/children know in a loving way that you are the leader and that they must follow. I watch National Geographic shows with my kids and tell them,”Look at the animals. Who is leading and disciplining? The father and the mother. Even the animals understand.” To be a great dad you must discipline.

All over the World children starve or lack the material comforts that we are afforded in G8 countries. We buy our kids so much, that often we have sacks of items to give to thrift stores. Teach your children to appreciate and value what they have. Teach them not to waste food. Teach them to conserve. Teach them to care for everything they have. To be a great dad you must teach your child/children to appreciate.

When a child is born they know nothing. Children learn through experience and practice. You must teach your child the path you want them to take. When children fail, dads we have to self-reflect, and ask ourselves,”What are we teaching our kids?” From learning how to ride a bike, swimming, fishing, or the many other things children can do, fathers must teach. To be a great dad you must teach your child skills and challenge them.

At some point you will hear,”Dad I messed up.” During this time it is wise to stay calm, ask questions, and understand the situation. Show empathy and compassion no matter how much you want to explode in anger. Your child coming to you means they want help, dad’s advice, and possibly just an ear to share whats on their mind. To be a great dad show empathy and compassion.

Child: “Dad you forgot my newspaper for my homework.” Dad: “Sorry. I forgot to pick it up.”  Dad’s often make mistakes. To be a great dad admit your mistakes.

Father: “Hello, boss. I am sick and unable to come to work today.” If your child is nearby, and know you are not sick, you just taught them dishonesty. Often we rationalize dishonesty. We take a pencil home from work, yet we feel guilty with stealing a dime.  None of us are perfect, but as father’s we must do our best and make a conscious effort to be honest. To be a great dad be honest.

If your married, honor and value your wife. Husband: “Did you empty the trash?” Wife: “No, I forgot.” Husband: “Do you always forget?”  That word always is a killer. I must admit that I have been guilty of this word. The kids listen. Father’s must make effort to show appreciation for what the wife does, and value her work. When you kiss your wife in front of your children, you show them your love her. Show affection often. Tell her you love her. To be a great dad, value your wife.

In summary to be a great dad you need to be in the game, show interest, lead by example, discipline, teach them to appreciate, teach them skills,  challenge them, show empathy, compassion, admit mistakes, be honest, and value your wife. This will go along way in your quest to be a great dad.

One final thought, which is a preference of mine,  is to follow God’s teachings to the best of your ability, and be an active church member with your family. The reason I state this is we often fall short of the glory of God. I have on many occasions. I have prayed more than once saying,”Dear Lord I have messed up and I am not worthy to be in your presence.” The Bible has so many inspirational stories that give us insight on being a great dad and why we should follow them. It also gives a higher source to look towards than man. I have read many self-help books, psychology books, and I love the resource that all the professionals provide, but the Bible exceeds them all in my opinion. The church provides an outlet to socialize and share with other believers that are working towards, or already on a path of positive change. When my children ask,”Dad why do you love God?” I say,”I have been around the opposite of God. Drugs, alcohol, criminals, and people who practice the opposite of truth, and I cannot find peace, truth, love, or honesty among them. When I am in church, or in prayer, I feel a sense of love, peace, and happiness. God provides, Satan takes away.”

Teaching in America today is quiet interesting. We have the education businessmen who push products to improve profit. We have the huge testing environment to check on progress. We have people in the system who tell fairytales about success.

If you ask any child including your own, about their perception of school change most will tell you that from elementary to high school they have noticed a decline in schools. Interestingly many parents blame the school system, which is partly to blame, but who has the child over 16 hours per day? The parent.

From my perspective as a teacher the person who has the most influence on a child is the parent. This is why as a parent, I spend a great deal of time teaching my own kids. Who has more interest in the product of your child’s success than you the parent? Nobody!

So if schools are to improve in America, we are going to need parents to step up to the plate and bring about change. Statistically, the best schools, have the most involved parents and the most educated parents.

The change resides in you!