Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Have An Affair

Posted: April 28, 2013 in Family, Religion
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Have An Affair

Sitting at church today, I listened to my pastor read Solomon 2:15 which states,”Catch for us the foxes,the little foxes that ruin the vineyards,our vineyards that are in bloom.” He referenced this passage to stress how little things in a marriage can cause ruin, if we do not catch them, just as the little foxes cause ruin in the vineyard. What are these little foxes?

1. Romance is not important– Romance is important and so is sex, but it is not everything. This analogy was used. Eggs are good plain, but they taste a bit better with salt. A little salt makes that egg tastes so much better, but if you drown it in salt it is ruined. If someone asked you, “What did you eat for breakfast? Would you answer,”Salt?”So with marriage, a little romance or sex every now and then, keeps the flames burning. However, if you just base your marriage on sex, it will be like that over salted egg. Ruined. If you have no romance or sex, it will be like a plain egg with no salt.

2. Good marriage is luck- We have all heard it before. “Man you are so lucky to have your spouse.” Marriage is anything but luck. Marriage takes hard work from both parties, because let’s face it, having the same person around all the time is not always fun. The following verse points to this ideal. Proverbs 4:14 “Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty,but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests.” So there you have it. If nobody is around just like no ox in a manger, there is no pooh-poo, but if they are around, you will have poo-poo. All marriages have poo-poo at times. The plus is abundant harvests and strength with your mate.

3. Love is a feeling- Love is not a feeling. It is something you do by listening and understanding your partner. You show your love on a daily basis by treating your wife/husband like a guest in your home. Everyone knows how they react when they have guests. They clean, prepare, cook, and offer them just about anything to make them feel welcome. Do this for your wife/husband.

So practice the biblical principles of love, romance, sex, and work hard at having a great marriage. Have an affair with your spouse!

Choosing A School For Your Child

Posted: April 20, 2013 in Education, Family
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With several years experience in education, I get asked quite often,”How do I choose a school for my child?” There are several factors involved, but I will go through a few things to be aware of and look out for.

The number one thing a parent should look out for is the willingness of a principal or tour guide to answer their questions, and allow them access to all parts of a school. There are times when tours are allowed, that principals advise their staff to keep certain areas of campus off-limits to visitors, even though it is public and you have every right as a parent to see every part of the campus. The reason for this is the school could have 25% high achievers, and 75% low achievers. What the tour guides want parents to see are the 25% high achievers, even though they may know it could affect your child in a negative way if they are mixed with low achievers. You might ask,”Why would they do such a thing?” The answer lies in Federal dollars. The more students in a school, the more money a school receives.  When principals think about keeping doors open ethics are often compromised, because in reality they know with a huge population of low performing students, the high performing students will avoid the campus. Principals will even keep their worst performing teachers, and fire their better teachers, because often, the better teachers complain about these types of administrators. Things get really hairy on mismanaged school campuses.

The number two thing a parent should look for is the school profile sheet. This information is public record. A parent should look it over carefully. Three things that often affect academics in a school are constant discipline problems, poor attendance, and poverty.  You can look at expulsions, in-school suspensions, and attendance information online. If you want your child to succeed, it is advised that you look for the schools with high attendance, low-free and reduced lunch, and little to no expulsions or suspensions, unless of course the school completely isolates it’s high achieving population. This is like a school within a school and the campuses are divided basically between achievers and non-achievers.

The number three thing a parent should do is online research. There are plenty of sites that give school ratings and reviews. They are often very truthful ratings no matter what a principal may say about them.

The number four thing a parent should do is talk to students and parents. If a parent talks about how good a school is please find out how often they go on campus or are actually involved.  A lot of times, you could get bad advice, if they are just throwing an opinion out there with no hands on experience at the campus. Ask the students,”Do you feel your principal and teacher care about you?” The kids will often tell the truth, especially the high-achievers.

In review, if the campus is totally open, the attendance is high, discipline problems low, most students are paying for lunch, online reviews are great, and you hear great word on the streets, you are more than likely picking a fantastic school for your child. Keep in mind that fantastic schools are fantastic because of parental involvement. So be ready to work as hard as your child.

 

Families- The Bedrock Of Society

Posted: April 16, 2013 in Family, Religion
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Families are the bedrock of a healthy society. When families are torn apart research often shows a host of problems. We see depression, poverty, broken hearts, lost self-esteem, drug usage, suicide, etc.

Families, man and woman, are the only ones who can procreate. Without semen and an egg, you cannot create life. Semen mixed with semen, nor egg with egg produces a child, a bird, a dog, or any life. You must have a man and a woman. This is the correct way to reproduce scientifically. If all animals were to turn to incorrect ways, all life on Earth would die. There would be no new life.

Research has shown us that when men bond with men they often have a disdain for women, and when women bond with women they have a disdain for men. So what causes a man or woman to dislike the opposite sex, the only person they can create a child with? Are they genetically born with hate, or did they learn this hate? Who are the true haters?

Often Christians and families are attacked for believing in marriage between a man and a woman. They are labeled as people who hate. Why are families and Christians who believe in a scientifically, and historically proven correct term for marriage attacked? For the simple reason that we are stating truths? If you mix blue and yellow, you get green. Are we to teach you get red and distort the truth?

The one tenant that all major religions agree on is marriage between a man and a woman. Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, and Christianity. So are all these religious people haters too?

As I state for my blog punchline, Fact or Fiction, The Truth Lies In The Research, and the research proves that marriage between a man and woman is correct, and anything else is false.

Eight Lies That Destroy Marriage

Posted: April 12, 2013 in Family, Religion
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This article really hits the nail on lies in marriage.

8 Lies That Destroy Marriage

To Be A Great Dad

Posted: April 11, 2013 in Family, Religion
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So what does it take to be a great dad? It takes heart. Everything we do comes from our heart. You either want to do it, or you do not. It’s as simple as that.

Dad’s are more important in the direction their children will take than media, society, or they themselves realize. Having talked with several kids over the years the number one thing I hear is,”I wish my dad were around.” There are literally thousands of adults walking around on any given day wondering,”Why did my dad leave?” There are thousands of children following negative paths because dad left. To be a great dad you must be in the game.

To be a great dad you must lead by example. Your kids are watching and so are their friends. If you are married or single, take time to cook meals, sit down and talk with your children at dinner, spend time with them doing an activity that they love, if you dislike something, do it anyways. Be open and talk them about the hot taboo topics. If you do not, their friends will. These things teach your child or children that you are interested in them, and that sometimes you have to do things that you dislike. To be a great dad you must show interest and lead by example.

Children will often test the waters and see how far they can swim. We know that our abilities only allow us to swim so far. To be a great dad you must discipline. Discipline can be accomplished a variety of ways and there are several books that discuss this. The key is that you let your child/children know in a loving way that you are the leader and that they must follow. I watch National Geographic shows with my kids and tell them,”Look at the animals. Who is leading and disciplining? The father and the mother. Even the animals understand.” To be a great dad you must discipline.

All over the World children starve or lack the material comforts that we are afforded in G8 countries. We buy our kids so much, that often we have sacks of items to give to thrift stores. Teach your children to appreciate and value what they have. Teach them not to waste food. Teach them to conserve. Teach them to care for everything they have. To be a great dad you must teach your child/children to appreciate.

When a child is born they know nothing. Children learn through experience and practice. You must teach your child the path you want them to take. When children fail, dads we have to self-reflect, and ask ourselves,”What are we teaching our kids?” From learning how to ride a bike, swimming, fishing, or the many other things children can do, fathers must teach. To be a great dad you must teach your child skills and challenge them.

At some point you will hear,”Dad I messed up.” During this time it is wise to stay calm, ask questions, and understand the situation. Show empathy and compassion no matter how much you want to explode in anger. Your child coming to you means they want help, dad’s advice, and possibly just an ear to share whats on their mind. To be a great dad show empathy and compassion.

Child: “Dad you forgot my newspaper for my homework.” Dad: “Sorry. I forgot to pick it up.”  Dad’s often make mistakes. To be a great dad admit your mistakes.

Father: “Hello, boss. I am sick and unable to come to work today.” If your child is nearby, and know you are not sick, you just taught them dishonesty. Often we rationalize dishonesty. We take a pencil home from work, yet we feel guilty with stealing a dime.  None of us are perfect, but as father’s we must do our best and make a conscious effort to be honest. To be a great dad be honest.

If your married, honor and value your wife. Husband: “Did you empty the trash?” Wife: “No, I forgot.” Husband: “Do you always forget?”  That word always is a killer. I must admit that I have been guilty of this word. The kids listen. Father’s must make effort to show appreciation for what the wife does, and value her work. When you kiss your wife in front of your children, you show them your love her. Show affection often. Tell her you love her. To be a great dad, value your wife.

In summary to be a great dad you need to be in the game, show interest, lead by example, discipline, teach them to appreciate, teach them skills,  challenge them, show empathy, compassion, admit mistakes, be honest, and value your wife. This will go along way in your quest to be a great dad.

One final thought, which is a preference of mine,  is to follow God’s teachings to the best of your ability, and be an active church member with your family. The reason I state this is we often fall short of the glory of God. I have on many occasions. I have prayed more than once saying,”Dear Lord I have messed up and I am not worthy to be in your presence.” The Bible has so many inspirational stories that give us insight on being a great dad and why we should follow them. It also gives a higher source to look towards than man. I have read many self-help books, psychology books, and I love the resource that all the professionals provide, but the Bible exceeds them all in my opinion. The church provides an outlet to socialize and share with other believers that are working towards, or already on a path of positive change. When my children ask,”Dad why do you love God?” I say,”I have been around the opposite of God. Drugs, alcohol, criminals, and people who practice the opposite of truth, and I cannot find peace, truth, love, or honesty among them. When I am in church, or in prayer, I feel a sense of love, peace, and happiness. God provides, Satan takes away.”

A Man’s Observation Of Stay-At-Home Moms

Posted: April 6, 2013 in Family
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When I am spending time at the park with my kids as they play there are often large groups of mothers with their children, and periodically I get to hear their complaints, and struggles with being a stay-at-home mom. I would like to address a few of them. And let me state upfront this is not meant to slam anyone, but just observations I have made.

One of the biggest complaints I hear is,”I do not have enough time for myself.” What this complaint often boils down to is poor time management. When managing time one must set it up like a bank account and do debits, credits, and decide what is important.  Many mom’s look to load their children up with activities to get them out of the house so they have more time.  Of course there are mother’s who do this for their child’s social skills, and educational benefit, but I am just going by what I hear off the tongue. What the mom’s thought would be a break, ends up being a daily routine of running from one activity to another. And guess what? Yep! You guessed it. They have no time for the other household duties. The biggest one being a hot healthy meal for their kids. What happens then is the trip to the local fast food joint for some processed slop. Childhood Obesity is a problem in American? No! Really?

Another complaint that I often hear is,”My husband does not spend enough time with the kids.” I see that in many father’s, but often dad’s are locked into rigid employment schedules that do not allow them the time to get away, or the personal finances are so over-stretched he has no choice. By the time father’s have time, most want to just unwind on the golf course, fishing, etc. Unfortunately, many men do not enjoy unwinding with their children after a hard stressful day. And throughout history mom’s have had the child rearing responsibilities. It really wasn’t until the feminist movement came along that some mom’s said,”Hey, what am I doing at home with kids?” Personally, I find that totally weird, but that is my opinion.

The strangest complaint to me is,”My husband does not make time for me.” Men love woman! We are loaded with testosterone.  When a man is losing interest the number one area for a woman to look is within herself. What is the biggest turn off for a man? Nagging! Did you do this? Did you do that? Why are you never……? What’s wrong with you? You always do……” Etc, Etc! The Bible makes reference several times in Proverbs that it is better to live on top of the roof, in a desert, or to have a rainy day than listen to a nagging wife. It’s the worst thing ever for a man, and you can look like Ms. American ladies, but if you’re a nag,”Forget it!” Keep in mind the man you are nagging is busting his derriere for you at work to provide all the necessities and more often your wants. Woman I know to be nags often could not earn, or supply what the husband does financially. So in regards to that, I say stay-at-home moms should be thankful for their husbands hard work while they are at home. When thanklessness and nagging exceed acceptable levels, we often see breakdowns in the family unit and divorce. Sadly, these stay-at-home moms, and their children, end up worse off financially.

With these observations, I can conclude there is too much,”What about me?”, poor time management, and thanklessness for one of the greatest jobs on Earth. Stay-At-Home moms be thankful for your role because you are lucky beyond measure, have the most important job, and are truly blessed.

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